Breathe In

Have you had the kiss of breath? No, this is not a metaphor; it's not a riddle, either. You may ask that to a complete stranger once they become familiar with you, and no coworkers or people you live with. No random strangers. No friends. Or many friends but only if it's time to move forward.  You can tell when someone's welcomed in. Let them through, have their divinity light up the sorrowful alleys of life; become so that once the things that seemed new, are now dull and tiresome, you can then retire in peace to battle. Let us not wait to meet up, we want to experience that old flame anew. 

People you meet rarely get to you.  They don't get you, so don't let them get to you. They speak in tongues, and the ones that we listen to are demoted entities of our path herein, iterations of celestial clay. 

Those who surround you, the ones closest to you, are the strangest of all. Like inhabiting a forgotten land in a long gone era, a room without doors, full of shattered mirrors where there should be a window. You could look outside, but you're terrified of the lecherous creep trapped in. You know less about yourself than a lot of them about you. Risk venturing in at your own peril. It's great to practice with someone you haven't kissed. It can be overdone, so seldom make good use of it. It's important to make sure that there's a real connection between the two of you. If not, it's fine to just spend time together.  You gotta be neat to have a woman trust you that way. Don't want to be a creep. 

If you haven't had the kiss of breath, it's simple. Tell him/her that there's a way to find out if there's a deeper connection between the two of you. You don't have to wait for an answer,  go ahead and explain how, by conducting a rudimentary test. Not just here, or every now and then, no; you want to make it a big part of your mission in life to be far more impassive than most, still quite emotional. Make yourself the property of a fortunate few. Most people are good at something in particular, and that's more than enough for some. Others want to develop more than one strength, but few ever are ever satisfied. It is because their lives are devoid of meaning at the core and their empty-nest lies in a disconnect with what's the most important thing, not knowing their nature and living more authentically. Instead, most ascribe to a life of abundance that never delivers, in material excess accumulation of goods that don't deliver the desired outcome. Meaning in life boils down to being, not having, not wishing. Doing, too, helps because nothing gets the gift of meaning unwrapped like taking action. You want to gain strength, for instance, you must exercise; if you want to create, then you must play your instrument. Even if your goal is to detach yourself from the surroundings, as you do when absorbed in meditation, you need to take the action of making this a priority, your purpose will manifest. It is not that you need to physically do anything to find yourself in a meditate state, the more you meditate the easier it becomes, but you must take action in a non-physical way, manifest your purpose somehow, find yourself immersed in the act, and pay no mind. It is an act that seems effortless not because it necessarily is so, but because we are so used to it that we can achieve such a state of mind, that it is like breathing, it happens automatically. You can take charge of your breathing, and you should, but the more you inhale and exhale consciously, the easier you will find to manage stressful situations. Our focus is on material possession, a life devoid of a spiritual component will find meaning in superficial things, therefore you will need ever more to feel again the same, again and again. You may find that you graduated with good grades from high school, then you want to go to college, and from there maybe get a higher degree and then buy a house. 

You may find that there is always something to strive for, but on your way there, find yourself in the moment, wherever that may be, fulfilled and content, not necessarily happy, then you will have mastered the most important thing: realizing that now is all you may enjoy, that suffering what happened or may happen later are also important, yes, but not as eventful as the fleeting present. Gurus of all ages tell us that the past is of no importance and that tomorrow may not come; but living as long as we do today, tomorrow is likely to come and the past has its beauty too, full of memories, bad and good. The good ones, we can rejoice on and the bad ones have something to teach us, or we can choose to embellish like we do, all throughout our lives, we live through memories, not seeing really the separation between past, present, and future. Yes, I said present, as much as everyone you ever heard before obsessing about the importance of living in the moment, that is, the importance of the presence is overblown. If anything, the present, if we are to take it seriously enough, is fleeting, it vanishes before our very eyes: this moment happened ages ago, a line back I was not the one I am now, and so the presence, too, is an illusion. It serves us well to transcend the experience in which we may find ourselves in. 

But what if, as a writer, you were challenged to come up with a line, quick and unwitty, to illustrate how better off you are by not striving for a better time than now and by not obsessing either about this ¨now¨ either. Let us say we want to convey the idea that we cannot be either too happy or too miserable? This line must as well help in bringing you down if you find yourself soaring high in any given moment and maybe cheer you up if you find yourself somewhat down any other time. That line would be, if you really listen now well, ¨This moment, too, shall pass.¨ That everything will come to an end is misleading; it is more accurate to say that everything is ending as we go. That we live sometimes in the past, though we may obsess about the present; that if, again, there is a moment in time that we can call tomorrow is now. 

It's okay to have means, but in the end, is not the means that define the end. Both things are important: you do not want to live for this moment, but you find yourself stuck in it. So, you might as well learn to enjoy what every sage has known: to forget about that whole business of tomorrow and focus on the present. Also, you can only sit in quietude for so long before realizing that the ridiculous amount of goodness it comes out of it is enough to jump up and down and scream it out to the world: Meditate! That you may find yourself doing so, even when you think you are all about your business and that in the end your business anyway is meditation, so nothing that you do deviates you from your aim. 

How we live and not who or what we live for will determine the quality of life. Not worrying now may bring problems tomorrow, that is why the mechanism of worry was invented: our mind exaggerates everything so that a mental siren goes off inside our heads and it will not shut up until we do something about it. That something again may very well be meditation or it may be not to take things too seriously, that if there is a solution, we will in time find it and perhaps take some sort of action to the whole affair to rest. It is not that I defend worry, nothing is more wasteful than spending much time on it. But in a small dose, it signals that something is amiss and that is important to take matters more seriously without losing ourselves over it. 

This is not about a materialistic output, I know we live in times of unparalleled prosperity, we may have way more than our parents did, we live more comfortably than kings in antiquity. If we aren't any happier as a consequence of our possessions, it is because this is an animalistic survival mechanism that turns on, just like over-worrying; if there is something you can do about it right now and you've been postponing the matter, then take it on already and stop hiding behind a spiritual facade. But we do live in more pressing times, so we may overthink and overdo, never cease to come up with ways to busy ourselves, rarely finding the precious leisure that only wisdom can enjoy. Again, our mind exaggerates the situation as a survival ploy, it needs to make sure you take things seriously enough. That is why when you are hungry, you lose it if you do not eat because, well, you haven't mastered, say, fasting; and when you are alone for a few moments, when the one you fancy does not return your favor or pays little attention to you for a few moments, well then you do not know that love, in part, is a waiting game. You bid your time, you chill, and in finding that you really do not need anyone, but that you'd probably enjoy having a significant conversation with that significant someone, you may find, too, that the words exchanged between the two of you are empty air but boy does it feel good, that sort of emptiness fills you up. 

It is far more fulfilling sometimes to spend silly moments with someone we enjoy than enjoying a great movie by yourself. But do not underestimate the importance of giving each other space, just not too much of it either. You should not wait to answer her urgent text longer than you are able to hold your breath, because you never know if she is actually holding hers! 

It's our actions and state of mind that have a bigger stake. Sure, we can't be too content without much, but those who are already so with less are the most fortunate souls. Whatever is added only amplifies this inner light. It helps nonetheless being aloof, displaying a cool indifference, mixed with a shred of humility and empathy. After all, we live in a consumerist lifestyle. It's okay to flaunt your shine a bit. But do so with discretion. Be prudent in your approach. 

You gotta be bold yet humane, all passion and little if any drama. Most people is far too emotional, impulsive, downright aggressive. 

Have the two of you, if the two of you were to agree and mutually consent, lack faces in the way you would if you were to kiss. Except, do not use of your lips, just barely breathing the same air. You'll see breathing is 70% of the equation. You'll have the same intensity as if you were making out. You'll end up doing so more than often than not if it weren't for the fact that you promise not to kiss. It's sexy to be a man of your day and not break it. It's okay if others break it, so if they do kiss you then it's completely up to you to let them. We're all a little hang-up with seeing things through. You want to take your time. Don't rush.